


The Fighter

by fluffyxcloud



Series: The Fighter [1]
Category: Highlight | Beast (Band)
Genre: Angst, Doojoon in military getup, I'm Sorry, M/M, Military!au, What Have I Done, don't read if you can't handle death, inspired by the Fray 'The Fighter', onesided Junhyung/Yoseob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2019-02-19 10:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13122099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyxcloud/pseuds/fluffyxcloud
Summary: Doojoon is called away to war; Yoseob can do nothing but wait for him to return. Military!Doojoon.Inspired by the Fray song of the same title.





	The Fighter

 

 

 

Yoseob flings his arms around the naked chest of his lover. Doojoon's chest is too broad. Everything about Doojoon is bigger than him. Yoseob's fingers reach for each other futilely at Doojoon's back for a moment before he curls them in instead, indenting small half-moon's into his lover's smooth back. "Don't go," he pleads, pressing his face against Doojoon's chest. His skin is cool against Yoseob's fevered cheeks. Doojoon's stomach contracts from the puff of air Yoseob's plead exhales, but his hands still mechanically unfold the crisp shirt in front of him. The camouflage of greens and tans blur mockingly in front of Yoseob's eyes as Doojoon lifts his arms and pulls one of them through a long sleeve. Doojoon let half the shirt hang off his arm for a moment, choosing instead to place his hands firmly on his smaller lover's forearms. He grips momentarily, pushing Yoseob back a step and claiming soft lips for his own. Yoseob presses his eyes closed tightly and pushes into the kiss, bringing his hands to rest uselessly against Doojoon's chest. He feels the steady thump of life against his palms and morbidly wonders when it will stop.

 

 

Doojoon breaks the chaste, lingering kiss and steps away from Yoseob's body. He pulls his other arm through the sleeve. Yoseob takes in a shuddering breath. Swallows hard. He watches Doojoon fasten two buttons on his shirt before he steps back in and swats the hands away. He nimbly does up the rest of the buttons on Doojoon's shirt and smooths the front down. Doojoon leans down and presses their foreheads together. "I know, I know," he whispers, voice still rich chocolate in Yoseob's ears. "Just this one last time, they said," Doojoon reassures. "Then I'm off active duty." Yoseob nods mutely, eyes boring holes into a spot in the middle of Doojoon's stomach.

 

 

"Stay away from the other soldiers, got it?" he says as threateningly as possibly with a wobbly voice. "You're mine, Yoon Doojoon."

 

 

Doojoon's laugh rumbles in his chest. "I swear, Yang Yoseob," he says seriously, crinkling eyes betraying his humor, "I swear you'll still be mine."

 

 

Yoseob lunges back in for another hug. This time Doojoon winds his arms around his lover's waist, squeezing tightly. Tucking his head into Yoseob's thick hair he inhales the sweet shampoo that still clings heavily on his pillows.

 

 

"Why couldn't I have met you before you joined the military?" Yoseob's muffled voice asks against the starchy material of his shirt.

 

 

"But then I wouldn't have been me," Doojoon says. "And you wouldn't have met me, at that bar, on that night. You wouldn't have danced with me, you wouldn't have let me buy you a drink. You wouldn't have given me your number." Yoseob laughs remembering a rather tipsy Doojoon attempting to pick him up, stumbling on his toes while dancing. He'd been reciting as many cheesy pick-up lines he could possibly remember and Yoseob ended up kissing him just to shut him up...and then giving him his number because he'd never been kissed so thoroughly in his life.

 

 

"Touche," he admits. "And you may have been fat." This time Doojoon playfully pushes Yoseob away from him.

 

 

"So that's why you're with me!" he says in mock horror. "My deliciously sexy muscles are all you want from me!" With an exaggerated flourish Yoseob drags his hand down the front of Doojoon's stomach, feeling the deep indents against his palm.

 

 

"Yeah baby," Yoseob says, licking his lips lewdly before playfully biting on his lip. "Why else would I be with you? Your brains?"

 

 

Doojoon laughs and grabs Yoseob's hand that's found purchase on his belt buckle. He pulls it up to wrap around his neck. "Sure, Mr.Teacher. Flaunt those brains of yours. It's sexy."

 

 

At the door they share another long, languid kiss, Doojoon dropping his bag on the ground before he picks Yoseob up in his arms, holding him up as Yoseob wraps his legs around his waist and clings onto his shoulders. After a moment of passionate kissing Yoseob drops his legs and Doojoon reluctantly picks up his bag. "I'll see you," Yoseob says feigning causally.

 

 

Doojoon drops one last kiss on Yoseob's forehead. "Yeah, see you around," he says as he turns and walks out of Yoseob's apartment. Yoseob stares hard at the door for a long while after Doojoon had closed it. He sniffs a couple times, but doesn't cry. It would be stupid to cry when Doojoon would be back. He pulls his cell phone from his pocket and dials his friend's number. "I'm lonely," he says after Junhyung picks up. "Let's hang out."

 

 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

No one expects the war to break out. A terrorist bomb detonating in the public transit station was the last thing Yoseob intends to see when he turns on the tv months after Doojoon’s departure. Everyday his limbs grow heavier as he watches with leaden eyes as the President declares war, as the first wave of troops are sent out, as emails from Doojoon become short and stinted with words Yoseob recognizes as lies trying to protect him from the truth. His camp was moving towards the north, towards the fighting. Doojoon was being deployed on scouting missions. Yoseob becomes attached to the television, leaving the new anchors to tell him in detached tones about the number of deaths every hour of the day. His friends become concerned, pulling him out during the day, staying overnight to keep him company. But no one dares to turn the television off. Junhyung's first and only attempt results in a hysterical, angry Yoseob grabbing at the remote and turning the television back on before collapsing into his arms with teary eyes.

 

 

Yoseob writes emails to Doojoon constantly. _Where are you? Are you okay? I love you._ The emails are always littered with hearts and smiley faces. Yoseob doesn’t want Doojoon to know he is worried sick. He wants Doojoon to look at his emails and remember happy things. He cries as he writes out fun things he doesn’t really do with his friends, and on a rare occasion that Doojoon replies he mentions how fun everything sounds. How jealous he is because he "doesn’t get to shower and smells awful" while Yoseob is out partying. Yoseob laughs and teases that "he’s gonna turn into a lumberjack." These things keep him going through the long months.

 

 

In another world Doojoon collapses against the fold-up chair where the communal computer is set up. Kikwang smacks his shoulder as he walks by, tearing his shirt off over his head as he teases "writing to your wife?" Doojoon smiles and connects to the internet.

 

 

"Of course," he grins, the happiest one in a while. He pulls out a folded picture from his front pocket. The sides are worn and grease smudges the gloss of the photograph but he still sees Yoseob's bright face, grinning happily at the camera. It's clichéd and god, so lame, but Doojoon could care less about being a character in a Nicholas Sparks novel and cares more about how the eyes of his lover shine even in the dull capture of the flash. He glances up from the photo and logs onto his email. He smiles as he sees 26 new messages. There are a few from his mom, his other friends, but 18 of them are from Yoseob. Doojoon reads the others first, saving the proverbial dessert for last. He reads them chronologically. He takes solace knowing that Yoseob is doing things, still having fun with his friends. But Doojoon, despite his lover's teasing, is no idiot. He reads the happy lines and sees the smiley emoticons, and between each space lies a heavy silence. Yoseob isn't happy, and Doojoon regrets. He regrets signing up for the military after high school, in a bout of desperation to be somebody. He regrets pursuing Yoseob that night, causing them to fall so in love. Yoseob doesn't deserve to date someone who has such a dangerous job. It wasn't--hadn't--been dangerous. But Doojoon regrets. He feels the wild desperation rising in his gut like bile, so afraid to die.

 

 

But Yoseob tells him that he loves him. Over and over again. And selfishly, Doojoon clutches those words to his heart like a bullet-proof vest. He writes about his new friend Kikwang and how they fight for shower time. He writes about finding a puppy on a scouting mission that had been abandoned by a family and now is the happy pet of his regiment. He writes about how much he loves Yoseob, too. And the fear of death, the fear of the night fades away to a small part of his heart while he sinks into the comfort of his home.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

Yoseob is shocked when he opens the door. The clean face of his lover smiles hesitantly back at him, eyes devouring Yoseob's image, and Yoseob blinks and the last eleven months vanish from his mind. He forgets everything for the next few hours except for the feel of his lover's body and his name, lovingly whispered like a mantra against every part of his body as Doojoon makes love to him over and over again. It isn't until they lay spent, curled possessively around each other on top of wrinkled sheets that Yoseob asks "why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" Doojoon’s hand stills from absently trailing along Yoseob's arm. He sows a kiss against Yoseob's red lips.

 

 

"It was sudden. Before I really knew it I was on a train back home for leave." Yoseob hums in understanding. A dark thought lurks in the back of his mind, but he leaves it alone. "So," Doojoon says louder, moving and rolling to hover over his smaller lover's body, "you have me to yourself, Mr. Yang."

 

 

"Ooh~" Yoseob trills. "Whatever shall I do with you, Mr. Yoon?"

 

 

"Make me yours," Doojoon says, eyes darkening with intent. "Put me in every spot of your body until all you can see is me."

 

 

Yoseob's breath hitches and he tilts his head back. "I can't do that."

 

 

"Why," Doojoon whispers against his lips. He nuzzles Yoseob's chin.

 

 

"Because you're already there." And Doojoon smiles softly before moving back in for the kill.

 

 

After two days they leave the house, meeting up with old friends and going around the town. Never separated from each other for long, it isn't until almost a full week that Doojoon's been back that Junhyung finds time to question him.

 

 

They're sitting in a pub, the latest pop song playing through the speakers when Yoseob leaves for the bathroom. Junhyung swivels his chair around to face Doojoon, staring a moment at the tall figure. Doojoon doesn't look the same as when he left, Junhyung concludes. His body is still fit, his hair is still styled to a point, the earrings are still there. But his eyes are darker, his posture is more tense, guarded. He takes a breath. "When do you leave again, Doojoon?" he questions, staring intently at his face.

 

 

Like a gunshot sounded through the room, Doojoon's body tenses. He looks into his beer. "Next Friday."

 

 

"Where are you going?" A pregnant pause.

 

 

"Active zone."

 

 

Junhyung exhales loudly what sounds like a curse but Doojoon can't hear it over the din of the other patrons. "Does he know?" Junhyung asks, fingering the cold glass in front of him.

 

 

"Not yet," Doojoon says, peering at Junhyung through the sides of his eyes. "But I’ll tell him so please," he swallows, "don't say anything, okay?"

 

 

Junhyung licks his suddenly dry lips. "Yeah. Yeah I won't."

 

 

There's nothing more to say and Yoseob comes back, all grins and laughter and pretends not to notice the suddenly tense atmosphere between his two most important people.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

Doojoon crawls through the debris, belly close to the ground. He pauses at the body of a former comrade, taking a hand off his gun long enough to check for a pulse against the bloody neck. Finding none he moves forward, signaling to Kikwang in the distance. The dawn crept slowly into the sky, lightening the pitch to a murky grey. Doojoon's body aches. The cold grip of night lingers in his bones, tightening his muscles. Three skirmishes broke out during the night. He knows something hit him at one point. The metallic taste on his tongue and sticky warmth on his leg stood witness.

 

 

Doojoon grunts and continues to shuffle through the mess of the once pretty landscape. He stops behind a bombed out car to catch his breath. That’s when the first shot is heard to his left. Doojoon snaps his head towards the _rat-a-tat-a-tat_ near Kikwang’s location. The familiar pounding of his heart is back and his hands now easily flick the safety of his weapon as he takes stock of where the shooting originates from.

 

 

He awkwardly rises up over the hood of the burned car, favoring a leg, and takes a shot in where he hopes is the right direction. He comrades begin to also return fire, shooting into the murky dawn. The firefight sounds closer and Doojoon cusses lowly to himself as he whips out a grenade. He peeks his head over the top and sees a mass of enemy soldiers crouching through the debris towards their location. He pulls a pin out with his teeth and chucks the grenade towards the dirty face in front of him.

 

 

Doojoon doesn’t even see the shooter.

 

 

Pain blossoms in his chest and climbs towards his neck. The fire shoots through his veins and the gun drops from his suddenly frozen limbs. He collapses heavily against the car and as spots marr his vision he tries to make sense of the sudden searing pain. _You’ve been shot_ his brain says. _Oh_.

 

 

_Oh._

 

 

Doojoon gathers all his strength and swings his now spasming arm up to where the fire is. He barely brushes the wound with his fingertips before he cries out, pain screaming through his body. His arms falls back to the ground. His hearing flickers out and suddenly Doojoon is aware of the rushing in his ears. A blurry mass flings itself in front of him and Doojoon hears an echo screaming his name.

 

 

_It’s Yoseob_. Doojoon tries to look towards his lover but for some reason he can’t see. But it’s bright so it must be Yoseob. His mouth quivers as he tries to let the other know he’s okay. He gurgles and something warm gushes from his mouth.

 

 

“Goddammit Doojoon, fucking look at me!” Kikwang yells, shaking Doojoon’s convulsing body as he presses heavily on his chest, desperately trying to staunch the blood escaping through his shirt. He screams for a medic over the chaos even as he feels Doojoon begin to still.

 

 

Doojoon doesn’t respond, eyes glazed as he stares blankly towards the tip of the sun peeking on the horizon.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

Yoseob hears his heart thudding in his chest. The woman in front of him is crying, too, and thank god Junhyung is there because Yoseob is suddenly so lost.

 

 

“What?” he croaks and even as he shakes his head he can see in her eyes the horrible truth. He can’t breathe. “Jun-“ he stutters before his best friend moves into wrap Yoseob in a crushing hug. Yoseob feels his legs give out. “No, _no_!” he tries to yell but his voice is gone and it cracks ugly, horribly quietly into the room. He grips Junhyung’s arm and presses his lungs tight, wrenching sobs breaking the stillness of the air and Yoseob is drowning. He calls for Doojoon, calls pathetically like it will make him materialize into the air and hold him close. Yoseob wishes he could smell his lover’s musk, wishes he could touch the soft curve of his jaw and he reaches an arm out half-heartedly as if it might happen.

 

 

But Doojoon isn’t there.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

Yoseob grips Doojoon’s hands in his own, staring at how they held him so perfectly. They sit awkwardly, side by side, and Yoseob is afraid of the encroaching darkness. “Please,” he begs the hands. “Please, please don’t go.” The grip tightens.

 

 

Doojoon frees one of his hands and brings it up to run a gentle finger along Yoseob’s soft cheek. Yoseob leans into the touch and tries to hide his quickening breath. He promised himself not to cry in front of his lover. Doojoon cups Yoseob’s chin and nudges him to meet his eyes.

 

 

“I know,” Doojoon murmurs quietly. He presses a kiss against Yoseob’s forehead. Yoseob’s breath hitches and the quiet whimper that escapes into the room makes Doojoon’s carefully placed expression falter.

 

 

It was the elephant in the corner, the toxic fear seeping into the air and poisoning their thoughts. It went unsaid, but somehow they both know. The both know he’s not coming home.

 

 

Yoseob smiles and it’s heartbreaking. He pulls Doojoon’s hand back into his grasp and kisses Doojoon’s small mouth. He feels his lover’s lips trembling. “I’m scared, Seobie,” Doojoon admits.

 

 

“I know, I know,” and Yoseob feels himself calm at the distress of his lover.

 

 

“I love you,” and Doojoon enfolds Yoseob in his arms. He hears the mumbled agreement against his chest.

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

 

_I didn’t want to be clichéd_ , said the letter a man named Kikwang delivered to Yoseob one warm afternoon. He had a moment before going back to active duty, and “I have a promise to fufill to a good friend,” he said as he passed the white envelope to the pale-skinned boy.

 

 

_But I don’t want to die without closure._ Yoseob gripped the letter tight in his shaking hands and read through blurry eyes.

 

 

_Love doesn’t always win, Yoseob. I’m sorry I left you all alone. But I promise to love you from wherever the world takes me. So you promise me to keep trying. Keep living. And be happy. We don’t have to be all alone. I’ll always be with you._

 

 

A dirty picture was clipped to the letter. Yoseob held it to his chest and cried. And for a moment he thought wherever Doojoon was, maybe he was doing the same thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
